1-You have to schedule your dates around your partners dates with their guild. Because, clearly, these are of the uttermost importance.
2-You become good friends with his parents as he is still living in their basement.
3-When he says he was home all weekend playing games in his room, you don’t have to worry about him lying...he really was sitting on his computer all weekend playing games.
4-You wouldn’t dare ask you partner to choose between you and their Xbox...you really wouldn’t want to know the answer.
5-He has a different language you don’t understand and when you ask him what this “leet” speak is he just calls you a “noob”.
6-Your quality time together involves you sitting and watching him play games.
7-You quickly learn that to have quality time together, you must peel him away from the computer. This is most successfully done by eating extremely appetising food while sitting just out of reach of the computer. Food never fails.
8-if you buy him a techie toy once in a while he will become putty in your hands. This will calm his appetite for always buying the latest gadgets (and plunging himself into debt) and it will also encourage him to reciprocate the favour and buy you goodies.
9-When you jump on his computer just to check your mail or facebook he becomes a territorial caveman and tells you not to touch his stuff.
10-Their idea of romance is a screen lit dinner. It just isn’t the same as a candle lit one but seriously, take what you can get!
A combination of excessive gaming and social pressures in causing more young people to retreat to their bedrooms in the Japanese problem hikikomori.
Hikikomori is a phenomenon in Japan where reclusive individuals choose to withdraw from social life and seek out extreme forms of isolation.
Often this begins with a traumatic event in the outside world and the individual seeks the sanctuary of their room and computer where they will not be judged by the online community.
They sleep during the day and are awake at night where they play games and socialise only with their gaming friends. For these people, online games provide their only outlet for socialisation. However, it can also be these games which encourage the players to retreat from the outside world and real relationships in the first place. It is a national problem in Japan with recognition from the government and action plans in place to help prevent more youths from retreating.
Throughout the rest of the world it is not as widespread a problem as there are traditional elements that add to the Japanese reclusive nature such as the close son and mother relationship and social and academic pressures. However, there is an increase in the amount young people who are seeking solitude and are living their life purely through their games.
While government recognition in Japan has meant there is treatment for those shutting themselves in and support for their families, as it is not yet a large scale problem throughout the rest of the world, help is not readily available anywhere else.
Recent studies have questioned whether The United States are equipped enough to deal with the current influx of gaming addiction.
While more tech savvy nations such as South Korea and Japan have already opened hundreds of internet and gaming addiction centres, the first of its kind only opened this year outside of Seattle, Washington.
About one in 10 American children are addicted to video and/or online games, a study from the National Institute on Media and Family found.
Douglas Gentile, assistant professor of psychology at Iowa State University recently compared gaming habits to that of gambling addicts.
“Excessive gaming can become so compelling, one cannot just quit,” he stated.
Unfortunately, as there is such a shortage in professional help available, many of these addictions are not being acknowledged or treated.
One of the few avenues for help is, ironically, online, where former addicts can offer support and advice. This is similar to Alcoholics Anonymous and other addiction rehabilitation groups.
If you or someone you know has a gaming addiction please visit Online Gaming Addictions Anonymous (www.olganon.org) for help and further advice.
Massively multiplayer online role playing games (MMORPG) are destroying interpersonal skills and as a result ruining relationships.
What are interpersonal skills?
Interpersonal skills are the learnt abilities which allow us to communicate how we feel and what we want as well as understanding other’s needs through words, tone of voice and body language. Generally most of our interpersonal development happens when we are children, but we continue to acquire skills throughout life.
How do MMORPG affect these skills?
Games such as World of Warcraft and Everquest contain game worlds which are constantly changing, which allows for players to theoretically continue playing forever as there is no end and no way to ‘beat’ the game. Therefore encouraging hours and hours of continual playing time spent in front of a computer.
MMORPG halt the development of interpersonal skills by encouraging constant online interaction, which lacks non verbal communication such as body language, facial expression and voice tone.
This does not happen to every player, but there are many cases of players losing touch with reality due to excessive game involvement.
MMORPG encourage users to become members of groups or ‘guilds’ with friends and alliances in order to advance at an optimal rate. For many players, the relationships they form with other players in their guild can eventually replace those in the real world. Players will often change their real world schedules so that they can meet with the guild and do ‘quests’ together to increase their progress, hence the loss of real world relationships.
Example
Cliff on Slashdot talks about his friend’s regression
“While most of us are able to disconnect from the game to take care of our own affairs, he plays to the exclusion of his friends, his job (he calls in sick a lot, it is starting to get noticed) and his life,” he writes.
This example is one of many found online where family and friends discuss their loved one’s lack of interpersonal skills.
Reply
In response to such accusations many gamers argue that it actually improves their interpersonal skills. Some players turn to online games as they can easily make friends with a common interest and they gain confidence as they are not judged on their looks or body language.
Avid gamer Josh believes games have a positive influence on his interpersonal skills.
“When you play one of these games, you need to make friends to advance levels. It practically forces you to be social so that you can improve...it isn’t difficult to be social online though because you don’t feel self conscious and everyone is in the same boat,” he said.
“It is really frustrating that people say that these games are bad for relationships. For those of us who have never really had any meaningful relationships in the outside world, this is just a safe stepping stone to prepare us for making these relationships. Just think of it as good practice in an environment where you aren’t judged on your looks but judged on your personality. Seriously, in moderation MMORPG are great for improving your communication and interpersonal skills”.
As news of online gaming addiction is surfacing, so are the problems that the family and friends of these addicts have to deal with.
Like any addiction, gaming addicts show symptoms which can affect those around them. These include; compulsive lying and denial, neglect of those close to them, neglecting of personal hygiene, irritability and feelings of depression.
Spouses, in particular, are left to deal with gaming addicts with very little support. Only in recent months have gaming addictions been acknowledged by medical professionals.
Natalie from Alberta had been dating her boyfriend for almost a year before she realised he had a problem.
“He was very good at covering it up. I thought he was always just really busy with work and homework,” she said.
“It wasn’t until we moved in together that I realised how much time he actually spent on the computer”.
Natalie explained that sometimes her boyfriend would play games all night and then get dressed and drag himself to work.
“Ironically, I eventually found the support and help I needed in an online community,” she said.
Websites such as Gamerwidow.com offer an outlet to share experiences and offer support for those whose relationships with gamers are disintegrating or have become non-existent.
In the ‘Forums’ and ‘Widow’s corner’, members talk about how their partner’s obsession with MMORPG has lead to their frustration, depression and in some cases, even divorce.
“(He made a) fortress of retreat...necessary for his survival. In even approaching him I began to envision him peering at me through a small, sliding port-hole of a large door with inspecting eyes which begged, ‘What do you want?’” wrote one member.
Hopefully, as gaming addiction awareness increases, so will the available support for their family and friends.
- Smith, Alan D., 2004, Online Information Review, Controversial and emerging issues associated with cybergambling (e-casinos). Vol. 28, pg. 435-443.
- Young, Kimberly, 2009, The American Journal of Family Therapy, Understanding Online Gaming Addiction and Treatment Issues for Adolescents. Vol. 37, Is. 5, pg. 355-372.
